Empty, hurt, lonely, angry is just the tip of the emotional iceberg that a person experiences in a breakup. It leaves in it wakes a broken individual with a bruised self-image. A heartbreak is not only loss of a partner but an imagined future, certainty and a part of ourselves as well.
Moving on is tough, and one can experience a whole range of difficult feelings, complicated thoughts, obsessive behavior patterns, which can affect one’s productivity at work, quality of relationships with friends and family and squander one’s self-esteem & self-image.”
Things become even more difficult when a relationship has ended on an ambiguous note. For example, a relationship wherein the couple simply grew apart over time and one of the partners then ends the relationship without any explanation for the same. At times like these, the partner who gets left behind may not have stopped loving the other person and was still living in hope that the differences could be reconciled, even though both people have changed over time. When things end on an ambiguous note, the partner who gets left behind continues to hold on to an idealized version of the partner (and indeed the relationship) which may make the process of moving on, even more complicated.
Breakups can be excruciating. Some of the emotions and situations that you may find yourself in after the end of your relationship are:
It’s important not to underestimate the impact that breakups and separation can have on our lives. Following a breakup, people experience trauma along with other negative physical reactions, such as sleep issues, loss of appetite, persistent headaches, sweating, and stomach upsets. Several emotional reactions to the trauma may also occur in the form of mood swings, panic, hyper-alertness, isolation and detachment from others, etc.
When the relationship ends, you lose the person and one of the responses to it is grief. The future now looks different than what you may have planned, and this can instil a deep sense of loss within you. This can further add to the pain. Sometimes, people know that the relationship had to end at some point because it was abusive or negative in some way. They know that breaking up is the right thing to do, and that would make them feel happier, but the grief for what is lost is still there.
Breaking up and the events and feelings following that can leave you confused. You may feel a rollercoaster of emotions like anger, guilt, shame, failure, freedom, relief and joy. You may even consistently ponder over questions like – ‘What do I do now?’, ‘Where did I do wrong?’, ‘How do I feel about my ex now?’, etc. You may probably be unsure about how you feel about yourself, and hence, it can be difficult to understand how you feel about what happened with the relationship.
Considering all of the above, strong feelings of anxiety and depression may arise. The period after your breakup can be a stressful time that can leave you emotionally and physically drained. You may be feeling anxious and worried all the time in response to what happened in regards to the relationship, the person you were with, the way it ended, and your feelings about it.
Breakup counselling can offer you a safe space to work through the experiences you have had following the separation and get over it. Counselling can help you:
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Although you may feel that there is nothing good or positive in life, our counsellors can help you come out from the traumatic experience stronger. The support that counselling can offer is a crucial step towards recovery and building a happier and positive future.